In January Richard and Lindsay celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. Here are a few tips they’ve learned in raising three beautiful daughters—Jordan, Olivia, and Chloe—that they believe can help you strengthen your family and build a firm foundation in your home.
Lindsay: One thing we’ve learned is that there are no perfect families! But I believe that with God’s help, we all can strengthen our families, no matter what situation we’re in.
Richard: It seems that families today are always so busy. In many cases, people have gone from being families to simply being “households.” But to have a strong family, I believe you have to spend time together.
Have Fun as a Family
RR: Some of the best times we have as a family are at dinnertime. It’s not so much the food as it is the fellowship, sitting around the table and sharing with one another.
LR: I know how hard it can be for families to do that each day, but I think it’s important to set priorities and make choices in your life. Family meals have been a priority with us. It gives all of us a time to talk and laugh together.
RR: Another one of our family rituals—especially when our girls were younger—has been that before bedtime, everyone piles on our bed so we all can talk. It is time away from the noise and confusion of life, where we just have time together as a family.
It’s important to be someone your children can talk to. Don’t act embarrassed when they ask hard questions. No subject or problem should be off limits between parents and children—talk with them about it, pray with them, and show them from the Scriptures what God says about it.
Provide Loving Discipline
LR: I believe children want boundaries. When parents give their children structure in their lives, it can promote a nurturing and loving atmosphere to help guide them into making right choices. To have peace in your family, I believe you need loving discipline and guidance.
RR: I’ve found that when we discipline our kids with love, there’s often a wonderful moment later when they want to hug us. They know that even though we’ve disciplined them, we love them. It takes both love and discipline to raise a child.
LR: Statistics show that one of the main reasons kids join a gang is to be part of a “family” unit. They are seeking the structure and guidance that comes from being part of a family. I believe children want their parents’ attention so they have some form of accountability. And if we, as parents, don’t want our children to cry out for attention in destructive ways, we should be the ones to give them the attention they desire.
Keep a Balanced Marriage
RR: Lindsay and I believe that strong families start with a loving relationship between husband and wife. God said, The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23 NIV). And that Scripture goes on to say that a husband must love his wife as Christ loves the church (v. 25). That’s doesn’t mean that a man rules his own kingdom as a dictator and can run over his wife’s opinions and desires. As the head of the family, he is commanded by God to love his wife with the same kind of love that Jesus loves the Church…and Jesus gave His life for the Church.
LR: Nowhere does the Scripture say that one spouse is responsible for doing all the work or making the other one happy. God set up marriage so husband and wife have equal rights and responsibilities. It’s balanced.
RR: Marriage is a two-way street. The Bible says, The husband should please his wife… The wife should please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:3 NLV). That means they should take care of each other.
Every Family Is Unique
LR: Not all families have a mom and a dad and two kids. After my father died our family consisted of my mom, my brother and sister, and me. We had to function as a family unit without having a physical father as the head of our household. Mom had the mindset, This is who we are, and we’re going to continue to function as a family. She claimed Psalm 68:5 which says that God is a father of the fatherless, a husband to widows. You may feel that if one parent is gone, the family can’t go on. But I believe God can give you the ability to function as a family in whatever situation you’re in. If you’re raising children alone, I encourage you to lean on God with all your strength. When my mother didn’t know what to do at times when we were growing up, I remember her praying, “Lord, these are your children. I know you can show me what to do.” And He did! I believe He can do that for your family too.
It’s Never Too Late to Pray
LR: Never underestimate the power of your prayers as a parent. My mother began to pray God’s will over my life from the moment she knew she was pregnant with me. But it’s never too late to begin.
If your children or spouse are not in right relationship with God, I encourage you to pray for them and declare God’s Word over them every day. And don’t ever give up It may take a lot of time and prayers. But I believe we can reap in due season…if we don’t give up. (Galatians 6:9).
RR: Lindsay and I want to pray this prayer with you over your family right now and join our faith with yours in expecting miracles in your home and family.